A love note and English assignment all in one!

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This week, in my English class (core requirement) among other things, we had to make observations of two things, people, occurrences, whatever, and write a paragraph about each one.  I decided to watch Chris sleep, because over the last 15 years, I’ve marvelled at the fact that he bounds out of bed every morning, not a hair out of place. I am presenting it as part of his Valentine’s Day Present to the man I refer to as……

Perfection Personified

He’s amazing. He looks perfect even when he’s sleeping. I wonder if he knows how lucky he is? I’m talking about Christopher J. O’Donnell, the man to whom I’ve been married for the past 15 years. In those years, I have witnessed morning after morning, him rising from bed, not a hair out of place, looking, shall I say it again? Perfect. As I observe him sleeping, I see why. He doesn’t move. He lays in a very organized fashion (like he does everything else in life), on his left side, and just sleeps. No tossing, no turning. he just sleeps, and he has a teeny little smile the whole time. What is he smiling about? I can only guess it’s because he’s married to me! I try to see if I can get some movement. I delicately cough. Nothing. I cough again, not so delicately. Still nothing. I turn on my reading light. A slight stirring, “Everything all right?” he asks, not quite awake, and not moving. “Oh fine,” I say. And so he stays throughout the night. I know, I checked at 3:00 a.m. As the alarm sounds at 5:30 a.m., up he gets, fully rested, looking perfect, ready to take on the day.

Observations of Christopher J. O’Donnell, February 8, 2012.

Good news.  Got an A on my toilet paper essay, and “Memorable Moments.”

Not posting while in school…Well maybe my toilet paper essay

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ImageOK, I’m staying away from the Internet while in school, as I need to Focus, Focus, Focus, or as Evan says “On task, Mom!” I know, so what was my excuse for Feb through August of last year, after getting off to such a great year with the year of the hat?

The biggest issue is that most pictures of me with my great hats looked horrible! I have my pride! Not much,as can be seen on the latest Sundays with Shivstopher which incidentally is getting on the web via the shoemaker’s elves. As you know, I’m staying away from the internet while in school.

 

But, it occurred to me that I could just post my essays from my writing class. This one is responding to assignment to write about “Offensive TV Commercials.”    
 

The most offensive TV Commercial – By Shivaun O’Donnell – Jan 30, 2012

     Unlike much of the world, I actually like television commercials. In fact, I vividly recall   when I was 7 years old hearing my father bemoan commercials, and I said “I like commercials!” Surprised, he asked why, and I replied “How else would people know what to buy?”  I really did see commercials as something to make life easier for people. I loved the wonderful people living wonderful lives in their wonderful cars solving life’s problems with wonderful products, often accompanied by a wonderful jingle.  The jingles alone made life worth living:  “You can take Salem out of the country…But….you can’t take the country out of Salem!” 
            Even as I’ve gotten older, and I realize life isn’t always so wonderful, or easily solved by a jingle, and how hard it is to ‘kick the habit and join the unhooked generation,”  I still like commercials, mostly because they’re an example of the creative process at work. I think of the ad people sitting in their brainstorming session coming up with the ideas, and it makes me enjoy the funny ones, or the ones that tug at my heartstrings, and even the medication commercials with 25 seconds of warnings in a 30 second spot. So, for me to not like a commercial is really saying something.  
            The way I feel about the Charmin Ultra Strong commercial is beyond not liking.  I hate it! In fact, it all but causes me to curl up into a little ball with a feeling of near hopelessness about the future of society..  The commercial features a mother bear inspecting her young son’s behind to see if there are ‘“pieces left behind.” To ensure there is no confusion for viewers, the commercial shows the baby bear’s behind with several scraps of toilet paper remaining from an apparent unsuccessful wiping. Still didn’t get it? “Sorry son, but you still have them,” she scolds.  ARGHHHH!!!! 
             To me, this commercial represents the total debasing of society, displaying a complete lack of dignity where nothing is private or off-limits, not even our bathroom challenges.  It’s ridiculous and offensive on a number of levels.  First, commercials usually reflect some sort of reality, a common practice. Are parents doing this on a regular basis with kids; looking at their butts saying “Let me see if you pass inspection?” How did this idea even come up?  I can only imagine the brainstorming session in this ad agency. Second, it’s just plain gross to actually refer to the the tail end of what used to be perhaps most private of private activities. Why can’t they just say “This is the strongest toilet paper ever,” and leave it to the viewer to decide if he or she needs it?  Finally, as we slide down this slippery slope I can’t help but wonder: What’s next? Actually documenting the wiping process as it’s happening and all the glory of what comes before that process? Or perhaps discussions on the city streets  regarding bowel irregularity from a once respected movie star like Jamie Lee Curtis? Oh that’s right, the Activia commercial features that.
            The Charmin Ultra Strong commercial so infuriated me that I wrote to the manufacturer, Proctor and Gamble,  to tell them how offensive I found it, and as a result would not buy the product, and would advocate to sell our stock in Proctor and Gamble. 

             I got a response back.  “Dear Shivaun, Thanks for contacting Charmin. I’m sincerely sorry to hear that you find our Charmin advertisement offensive. We rely heavily on consumer comments regarding our advertisements, and feedback like yours will help us decide how to approach future advertising efforts. Please be assured I’m letting our marketing team know how you feel. Thanks again for writing.    Shoranne S. Charmin Team” Next stop, Dannon, makers of Activia!Image

The case of the mysterious shirt

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Well I needed to do an official ‘post-campaign clean-up’ of the Mariner so Evan could borrow it and I came upon this shirt. 

I guess the shirt itseld is not mysterious but the presence of it in the ‘way back’ of my car is.

It’s a size large. I thought maybe it belonged to someone who walked in the St Patrick’s Day parade with us but after asking a few peeps doesn’t seem to be.

Please help solve the mystery.

An honorary entry

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Well the last picture COD took of me looked sooooo unattractive that I couldn’t bring myself to post it. However the other day someone walked in to Odyssey Fitness (you know, NEPA’s fave fitness center at 401 Coal St in Wilkes Barre) with a wonderful hat. Sort of similar to mine from other day.

I asked if I could snap his photo for my blog. He agreed. His wife was there and said in fact she bought if for herself but it didn’t fit so he offered to take if off her hands. How”s THAT for a husband.

From Christmas 2010

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I had another post planned for today but since it was 15 degrees when I left for work I figured I’d don this number from my wonderful husband Christopher J O’Donnell, Esq.
given to me this past Christmas.

In keeping with the new tradition of a funny story about the hat source. The other morning I came strutting into the kitchen in my morning splendor and reminicent of that Lauren Hutton commercial from days gone by, posed and said dramatically “Don’t hate because I’m beautiful”

Not glancing up from his paper he deadpans “That’s not why I hate you. “

From the Jeanne Fraley Collection

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I decided to enhance this blog with funny stories about the source of the various cute hats for 2011.  This is one from the Jeanne Fraley collection that somehow ended up with me after she died about 6 years ago.  Aunt Jeanne was Chris’s mom’s sister and one of the most fun people around, the O’Donnell version of Aunt Mary.

Once, when Chris was a child, he went with him Mom up to Aunt Jeanne’s house in the Heights to pick up a cake she had made for Chris’s mom to take to some event.  When they arrived, Jeanne wasn’t there, but on the kitchen counter there was a mangled, unrecognizable blob. As they looked closer, they saw a toothpick sticking out of the top with a note attached: “I forgot to grease the pan.”

That was Aunt Jeanne!

The Year of the Hat

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2011 – The Year of the Hat.

By popular demand, I have re-started Shooting the Shiv. Well, maybe not popular demand, but my friend Kathy asked about it, and she’s both popular and demanding…

So here goes, for 2011!

I have a bin of cute hats I have accumulated over the years and after a few broad hints around Christmas time, I acquired a few more, like this number from Brenda.  So if it’s under 32 degrees, a hat I will don.

Please plan to offer your commentary!

Someone on Facebook referred to me as Olive Oyl in this one. Who knows…

Doubled edged Shiv

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Back in the sixties I learned the term Shiv can refer to a knife.  Later in life my second email addy was SharpShiv@aol.com. Shooting the Shiv was the new clever Shivism and now as I was preparing to post to my blog from my phone, I was reflecting on the double edge nature of technology. I will say, life was easier when I used my phone to make phone calls. However it wasn’t as much fun. And for all the over communication I get now with email text and phone, I love the instant access to anything. I don’t know how grateful Chris is though.

We’re in!

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Can’t believe it! We are completely in! House in Dallas completely cleaned out, ready for a new family!  Not that there is one defined… Know anyone who wants to have lots of fun, splash in the pool, walk, jog, go out to eat, hang out with great neighbors, etc.? Great price.  Email for info…Of all times to move away from a house with a pool though! Holy camoley, it’s been ridiculously hot.  Got my chemistry assignment done, and extra credit quiz submitted, and One Laugh at Least performed on a church alter.  All in all, a typical weekend for the O’Ds..